Article posted Wednesday, April 13, 2011 12:20pm

Aries (March 21 – April 19): The wise thing to do this celestial period is to prepare for the unexpected. This includes your relatives from Illinois who have been waiting for warmer weather.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20): It is your time to shine and an important moment for making progress in the Sturgeon Bay Bake-Off contest. The stars say your soufflé made with Crisco will be the sensation of this event and also win the heavyweight division.

Gemini (May 21 – June 21): You have a charming way with words and should turn this talent into a pathway to the hit TV talent shows. Show everyone you are not the dunderhead that your relatives believe you to be.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22): Finances will no longer trouble your every step and the local loan company will begin to look upon you with great respect. All this will be made clear and notice, too, that your dog is not scratching at all hours.

Leo (July 23 – August 22): Yodeling is in your future. Discontinue the polka and waltz competitions and begin rotations on the hour in harmony with the world. Your hypnotist will be ready to help you make the adjustment.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22): Last call for intergalactic thinking. You can master this special gift and prepare for an entirely new life involving unique potions and oils. Do not use transmission fluids or operate heavy machinery.

Libra (September 23 – October 22): Good news awaits you but you must demonstrate your willingness to brave the depths of the unknown. Start by speaking with your trusted financial advisor as soon as he is released.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): You have it all in your hand. Disregard those fortune cookie forecasts and be forthright in all that you do. The best is just beyond the Employee of the Month parking space.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Strong currents in the celestial circles above you suggest that your dreams will be fulfilled on an installment plan. Consider evasive moves at the supermarket and stock up on breakfast cereals during bonus buying hours.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Your cat has more influence this month so observe her actions as the full moon wanes. Note that your door hinges work more smoothly which your cat’s moves have signaled repeatedly. Heed these warnings.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Take inspiration from the planet Mercury which reaches its greatest eastern elongation to coincide with your new hair-do and ensemble. It would also be a good time to give Bowser his annual bath.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20): You will be honored for your honesty and dedication. Great days lie ahead and all impediments will be cast aside. Prepare yourself by gazing starward on all clear nights in the backyard. Best if it is your backyard.