Article posted Thursday, June 30, 2011 9:57am
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Dear Mary Pat,
One of my dear friends (I think is a dear friend) has a new “friend” in her life. I am overly excited for her, as she seems so happy (when I get to see her). It has been a few months that she has been seeing him. However, I have yet to meet him and am wondering if she is embarrassed of me…I want to ask her, but I am afraid it will push her away. Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you,
The Embarrassing Friend
Dear The Embarrassing Friend,
I doubt that you are embarrassing. I’m sure your friend just wants to make sure that the new guy in her life is a keeper before she makes the big step of introducing him to her friends. The fact that it has been months tells me that she’s really into him and wants to spend as much time as she can with him on her own. It is likely the honeymoon phase where she is convinced that he is perfect and can’t imagine ever being mad at him. As we all know, that phase doesn’t last too long.
Also, when you think about it, introducing someone you are seeing to your friends is almost a bigger step than introducing someone to your family. Your family will always have strong opinions, but it’s your friends who can really make or break a relationship. For example, if you do finally meet this guy and don’t really like him, your friend will have a hard time trying to figure out who to spend time with. On the other hand, if you meet him and think he’s great, you’ve just found a new addition to your circle of friends.
Your friend reminds me of one of my friends. She’s always had the ability to date on the down-low, which frankly I admire. She is so discreet, she can have a relationship for nearly six months before anyone really even notices. That is a miracle in this county and a skill set that is rare.
No need to worry about asking your friend. As her dear friend, you have every right to pester her without worrying about pushing her away. That’s a good friend’s prerogative. After all, she can’t keep this guy to herself forever.
Keep me posted.
Good luck,
Mary Pat