Article posted Thursday, July 21, 2011 10:23am

Dear Mary Pat,

My granddaughter has been staying with us for a couple of weeks and it’s been delightful. She’s 16 and it’s so wonderful to spend time with her. The only issue I’m having, apart from trying to stay up past 9:00, is with her swim suit, or what she calls a swim suit. I don’t know what to call it; it’s so tiny that it defies description. I know that you’ll think I’m old fashioned, but honestly, I just think that this suit is rather ridiculous. When we are at the pool at our condo, my neighbors look shocked. They are naturally mostly my age. The ones who aren’t my age are openly ogling her. I try to get her to use a cover-up, but she doesn’t want to. In my day, a girl who dressed like this would get a reputation to say the least. My granddaughter is a sweet innocent girl. I don’t want anyone getting the wrong impression of her. What’s a granny to do?

Grandma Knows Best
Sister Bay, WI

Dear Grandma Knows Best,

Wow. This is a tough one. This is an example of fashion moving too far forward for some of the population. You’re in a tough position since your daughter or daughter-in-law knows about the suit and may have even bought it for your granddaughter. I think that suits have gotten tinier and tinier over the years and a lot of people have become de-sensitized to them. Adults can obviously wear any kind of swim suits that they would like, but the early- and mid-teenage years are kind of a grey area. I wouldn’t let my hypothetical teenage daughter wear a micro bikini, but I have a feeling I’d be in the minority with that decision.
I don’t think it’s asking too much for you to insist that your granddaughter wears a cover-up when she’s walking to and from the pool. She is after all staying with you, and you should have some say in what she does as her grandmother.
Your true friends are not judging your granddaughter, as they probably have had the same concerns with their own grandchildren. Between granddaughters wearing skimpy bikinis and grandsons wearing their pants super, super low, it’s enough to send any grandparent to the emergency room with heart palpitations.
For your own piece of mind, you might want to talk to your daughter or daughter-in-law. She will likely tell you that the suit is what kids wear and that there aren’t a lot of choices available in a non-flimsy suit. I know that the “well everyone does it” argument doesn’t hold a lot of weight. I wish I had a better answer for you.

Good luck,
Mary Pat