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Article posted Wednesday, July 11, 2012 11:35am

Cancer (June 22 – July 22): Hollyhocks and daisies will send you a message if you pay close attention. Or, this horoscope will paraphrase it for you: stand up tall and spread your petals to show everyone your true beauty.

Leo (July 23 – August 22): The allure of a sparkly object may be too much for you to take. When you find yourself entranced by that gem, imagine that you are a seagull. It will make you feel better.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22): The intergalactic balance is shifting toward a truer horizon. To truly reap the benefits of this alignment, try watching the sunset from the shore rather than the rocking hull of a boat.

Libra (September 23 – October 22): Ducktails will crop up two and three at a time; hopefully, the incidents won’t give you too many flashbacks of that unfortunate nickname in high school.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): That ringing in your ear isn’t a sign that people are talking about you but it’s a sign that it’s time to clean your ears. Break out the Q-tips and the ear candles for a truer tone.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Your recent effort to lose weight shall not be overshadowed by your recent decision to eat orange-flavored popsicles for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Try to cut back on the cold calories and try for something a little warmer to speed up the metabolism.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): The stubborn seal of an envelope will give you a nasty paper-cut in the days ahead, but don’t dwell on it too long. And, don’t bleed all over the unexpected check from the IRS that will be found within that envelope!

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): If you are having a bad day, don’t blame it on the side of the bed you got up on. Blame it on the raccoon that tipped over your trashcan or the bully that’s being mean to you.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20): If you are convinced that your summer is spinning out of control, try learning a tune on the trumpet. The vibrations on your lips will shake things into their proper place.

Aries (March 21 – April 19): With Saturn in the fifth quarter and a recent Dave Matthews Band sighting, your prospects are looking up for better gambling odds next week. Hold your chips until then.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20): The rollercoaster of life is no match for your new perfume. Spray on an extra dose before you hit the streets and things will surely even out.

Gemini (May 21 – June 21): Car troubles are on the horizon – don’t ignore the signs. Be sure to invest in a helmet with flame decals to go with that moped, as it will make you look tougher with that tiny motor.