Article posted Wednesday, August 6, 2014 1:53pm

Dear Mary Pat,

My sister-in-law wants to do a family vacation with the entire family. My husband has four siblings, so including nieces, nephews, and three grandparents, there are 26 of us. I only get a couple of weeks off of work a year. It might sound rude, but I don’t want to spend eight of my vacation days with such a large group. It is such a hassle to find a place that can take all of us and that is within everyone’s budget and that’s just before we get there. We’ve gone on group trips before and it’s just too chaotic – not to mention that I somehow get stuck cooking and cleaning the majority of the time. How can I tell my husband’s family NO WAY!!! without offending them. My husband agrees with me, too, so that definitely helps.

Signed,

Traveling Circus

De Pere, WI

Dear Traveling Circus,

It is important to spend time with your extended family, but not so much that you beg them to lose your number and never call you again. Is there a happy medium here? Why eight days? Maybe a short weekend trip or stay-cation depending on where you all live. It could also be that this one sister-in-law in particular wants this, but maybe some of the others don’t. If your husband reached out to all of his siblings, maybe others feel the same as you do. Also, I’m sure no one would be offended if you only stayed for three or four days if everyone else decides to do eight. It’s all in the delivery. If you are kind and clear about how much you and your husband are able to participate, then I’m sure everyone will be fine with it.

Good luck,

Mary Pat