Article posted Wednesday, March 11, 2015 2:21pm

Dear Mary Pat,

My brother is getting married next month in in Mexico. It’s going to be at a beautiful resort and I’ve had my dress for months. My sister, however, was having trouble finding a dress and ended up settling (in my opinion). She’s a larger size and very self-conscious about it. Unfortunately, she ended up picking out a dress that is far too old for her (she’s only 27) and it does nothing for her figure. It’s also very formal for a relaxed beach wedding. How do I tell her that this dress is so wrong for her?

Signed,

Sensitive Sister

Little Sturgeon

Dear Sensitive Sister,

What are sisters for if not for total honesty? I know that it is hard, but for your sister’s sake, you need to at least try. Why don’t you plan a shopping trip together? Ask your sister to block out a day and then you need to start doing your research. Find a store/stores that specialize in plus size dresses. Go one step further and call ahead to work with a personal shopper. Most major department stores have them and it would be helpful to have another “expert” opinion. This might mean a trip to Appleton, Milwaukee or Chicago, but it will be so worth it if your sister finds a dress that is age appropriate and flattering. Shopping can be stressful, but if you have a personal shopper do some of the legwork ahead of time, she can have a dressing room full of choices. Let them know what the budget is ahead of time and that will help as well.

If you approach your sister kindly and with subtlety, I would hope she would listen. Instead of saying negative things about the dress, you can simply say, “I think we can do better. We need to show off how pretty you are.” Everyone has a feature that can be highlighted. After shopping, take time to have a nice lunch and do other things together like getting your make-up done or getting manicures.

Good luck,

Mary Pat