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An Outlook

[Note: As we are continually beset by bad news and this winter seems to grip our portion of the world particularly firm, I thought I’d share something lighter this week. This column originally appeared at the beginning of March in 1997.]

Item #1: I recently discovered that in 1995, four fires at hospitals in this country were caused by the spontaneous combustion of those latex examination gloves doctors are so fond of these days. Until I learned this, I thought the only reason to hate those things involved K-Y Jelly.

On a related note, there is a company called SculptYours in Santa Monica, California which will bronze your buttocks. The fees for this service range from $2,700 – $3,700 – depending on the size of the buttocks in question, I suppose.

Item #2: On the subject of sculpture, comes the story of Rebecca Antolak who, at the age of 17 years, has sold one of her sculptures for $25,000. Okay, I’m taking liberties with the definition of the word “sold” but let me explain.

Rebecca is an art student at Dillard High School in Broward County, Florida. As one of her projects for class, she created a sculpture which is “huge” (and when I use this term I am quoting published reports – I am unable to provide any further qualification as to the relative size of the “piece”). [Note: This pun is intended but won’t be revealed for a sentence or two here.]

Well, the school principal refused to allow Rebecca’s artwork to be displayed at the school and, after some none-too-careful consideration of the matter, the Broward County School Board supported the principal’s decision.

This problem arose (pardon this pun) because Rebecca created a “huge sculpture of a nude man.” I presume that school officials were upset by the sculpture being anatomically correct, though greatly inflated (I can’t resist these puns) in terms of size.

After the School Board refused her appeal, Rebecca, with the backing of the American Civil Liberties Union, filed suit charging that her right to free speech had been violated.

While I am an ardent defender of free speech, I am not necessarily certain that Rebecca and the ACLU would have won this case. Ultimately, however, this question is moot. The School Board settled the suit.

Earlier I mentioned that in supporting the principal’s decision, the School Board was “none-too-careful” in their review of the facts – here’s why: the same school and the same principal had allowed students to display sculptures and paintings of nude women at the school for months immediately prior to Rebecca submitting her piece (there I go again) for display.

As settlement in the case, Rebecca will receive $45,000 with $20,000 to be applied to legal fees. Thus, the young artist sold her first work for $25,000 and she retains possession. Not a bad way to start a career.

As for the School Board members (again, a pun), what a bunch of bone (sorry) heads. If the taxpayers in the county are wise, this incident should mark the end of their careers.

Item #3: Then there is this tidbit from former Illinois Representative, Mel Reynolds. For those of you who are somehow blissfully unaware of Mr. Reynolds’ story, the short version is that he was convicted of sexual assault and was sentenced to serve five years in prison.

Reynolds is doing his time in the Metropolitan Correctional Center where he found conditions so appalling that he recently went on a hunger strike in protest. Well, word came this week that he is quitting his hunger strike because his mother asked him to stop.

“I have always listened to my mother,” Reynolds explained, “and I’m not going to stop doing that now.”

Well, I suppose I owe Mr. Reynolds an apology. Ever since he was convicted I have deemed him an amoral, chauvinistic, jerk. Now I find out that his reprehensible behavior must be the result of his mother’s failure to tell him that sexual assault is a bad thing. Amazing how often the criminal becomes the victim, isn’t it?

Item #4: As Monty Python’s Flying Circus was oft heard to say, “And now for something completely different.”

In addition to all the inane, confounding, or infuriating stories I seem to run across (and often write about in this column), I do, occasionally, chance upon one that is – for lack of a better term – nice. This is one such story.

Larry McManus of McHenry, IL wanted to do something to make a difference in this world. So, in 1995, he invented something he called “National Write a Letter of Appreciation Week.” Alarmed by the decline he noted in the practice of actually writing letters and by the resulting impersonal attitude of much of the world today, Larry thought that his simple idea might make a small difference. The goals of his Letter of Appreciation Week are simply to restore the art of letter writing and the skills which it requires, and to celebrate the basic goodness of the human spirit.

So Larry would like everyone to take a little time to sit down and actually write out a letter – preferably using one’s own penmanship – to someone who made a difference in our lives through generosity, an act of kindness, or perhaps provided timely assistance (perhaps a relative, a teacher, a boss, a policeman…whoever). The letter would simply relate your personal appreciation and thereby inform the recipient that they did make a difference and that this difference is remembered.

So here’s a personal “thanks” to Mr. McManus for a fine idea. This is something everyone can do, particularly everyone here on the Door Peninsula in this slowest of slow months. I will make certain to find time, myself, to participate in his vision this week. My only problem, is where, and with whom, to begin.