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Chutney: An Ode

Chutney that glitters,
Chutney that gleams,
Door County Chutney,
Goes to extremes;
Ah, Chutney, Chutney, Chutney.

With whipped cream cheese,
You put me at ease,
One’s not enough,
Five isn’t tough;
Ah, Chutney, Chutney, Chutney.

I am alone,
Just you and I;
How would you taste,
Baked in a pie?
Ah, Chutney, Chutney, Chutney.

Cherries from North,
Leave South from me;
Why aren’t you made,
In every deli?
Ah, Chutney, Chutney, Chutney.

The Root of All Evil?
No, I think not.
I wish you were stuffed,
Inside every brat;
Ah, Chutney, Chutney, Chutney.

Oh where am I now?
Where can I go?
Without Chutney,
How should I know?
Ah, Chutney, Chutney, Chutney.

Chutney on burgers,
Chutney on fries,
As long as there’s Chutney,
I’ll tell no lies;
Ah, Chutney, Chutney, Chutney.

What can I do?
What can I think?
“Forget that beer,”
“There’s Chutney to drink!”
Ah, Chutney, Chutney, Chutney.