Coordinated Community Response Column

During this time of year what is usually on people’s minds is children going back to school and furthering their learning. While this is certainly an important piece of late summer going into fall, now is also the perfect time for parents and professionals to educate and re-educate themselves on child sexual abuse prevention strategies.

Along with attending school, many children are also joining sports clubs, scouts, reconnecting with faith organizations, among a variety of other opportunities. As our community’s children participate in these activities, it is important for all community members to take steps to prevent child sexual abuse, know the warning signs and know what to do if they suspect, or a child discloses, sexual abuse.

When people think of child sexual abuse they often do not want to discuss the issue or are unsure of exactly what they can do to prevent it. The truth is all community members have the opportunity and responsibility to ensure the protection of our children. No matter what connection you have with children, there are some very simple things you can do.

The Steps to Protecting Our Children below are from the Darkness to Light child sexual abuse prevention program:

Learn the facts and understand the risks: Educate yourself on the risks of child sexual abuse. The truth is one in four females and one in six males will experience sexual violence during their lifetime. The median age for reported sexual abuse is nine-years-old. In more than 90 percent of child sexual abuse cases, the perpetrator of the abuse is known and trusted by the child’s family. It is not the “stranger in the park” that many people educate their children about. These are just a few statistics. There are many more, some brutal and shocking.

Minimize opportunity: Limit one-adult/one-child situations. For example, if your child has music lessons, try to limit the one-on-one lessons or if they do take place, make sure the room has windows, an open door, or you are allowed the opportunity to stop in unexpectedly. There are certain one-adult/one-child situations that may not be avoidable. In that case, speak to the adult and child about the events that took place. Do background checks and ask for multiple references on adults who supervise your children in any capacity.

Talk about it: Talk openly with children about the proper terms for their anatomy and why those parts of their body are private. Empower your children that their body is theirs and they have the right to tell someone “no” if they feel uncomfortable with any touch. Unfortunately, when a child is abused they may not tell for a variety of reasons, including shame, guilt, fear and not wanting to upset others. As part of your ongoing conversations with your child, encourage them tell you of any unwanted touches and reinforce that you will not be mad at them but will support them and get help to make any unwanted touches stop. Make a list together of trusted adults your child could talk to if they were having a problem.

Stay alert: Watch for signs of child sexual abuse. Common physical warning signs are rashes, swelling or bruising of the genital area, and urinary tract infections. Emotional and behavioral warning signs are more common and include withdrawal, anxiety around a particular older child or adult, sexual behaviors and language which are not age-appropriate, bedwetting for a child that had previously outgrown it, depression, unexplained anger and rebellion. Some children may have no warning signs so it is important to have continued open communication with your child.

Act on suspicions: If you believe a child is being sexually abused, reach out to your community for help. Contact Child Protective Services, law enforcement and the Sexual Assault Center at 920.746.8996 for emotional support. It is important to act quickly. In acting on your suspicions not only will you save one child from enduring further abuse, but you may also save countless others.

This article is brought to you in part by the Door County Coordinated Community Response (CCR) to Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Teams and the Door County Elder and Adult-at-Risk Interdisciplinary Team.

Michelle Mayefske is a Prevention Specialist at Willowtree Cornerstone Child Advocacy Center.