Coordinated Community Response Column

Although there is no sure-fire way to protect your child from sexual abuse, there are some things you can do for your child.

• Talk to your child every day and take the time to really get to know him. Encourage him to share concerns and problems with you.

• Explain to your child that her body belongs to her alone and that she has the right to say no to anyone who might try to touch her.

• Tell your child that some adults may try to hurt children and make them do things that don’t feel comfortable. The adult may call what they are doing with the child a secret. Emphasize that this is not a good secret to keep and that they should tell you right away.

• Tell your child that someone they love and trust, or someone who is in a position of authority (teacher, neighbor, family member, babysitter) may try to do something like this. Try not to scare your child, and emphasize that the majority of grownups never do this and really do care about your child.

• Be cognizant about choosing a daycare for your child. Make sure it’s reputable and find out as much as you can about the daycare. Talk to other parents who use the program.

• Learn about the daycare’s hiring processes and practices. Ask how the organization recruits and selects staff, including checking references and background checks.

• Ensure you have the right to visit the program at any time, and make sure you know about any outing the child goes on.

• Make sure your child knows that if someone does something confusing to him, that you want to be told about it. Reassure your child that he will not be blamed for anything another adult does.

If you think your child has been abused, there are several ways you can support him:

• Believe your child. Children rarely lie about sexual abuse.

• Validate your child’s feelings and thank her for telling you. Convey your support for her. Children often fear that they are at fault for the abuse and that you will be disappointed in them if they tell you what happened.

• Temper your own reaction, as your reaction is critical to your child. Your greatest challenge may be to not express horror at the situation.

• Call the police and report the incident as soon as possible. Do not confront the perpetrator on your own.

• Finally, do not blame yourself. Sexual abuse is an unfortunate part of our society, and in most sexual abuse situations, the child knows and trusts the perpetrator. Perpetrators often seek out situations where they will be in contact with children, making it easier for them to interact with your child.

• Call the Sexual Assault Center and speak to an advocate any time, any day at 920.746.8996. An advocate can talk with you to help you decide what to do next.

This article is brought to you in part by the Door County Coordinated Community Response (CCR) to Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Teams and the Door County Elder and Adult-at-Risk Interdisciplinary Team.