Coordinated Community Response Column

In 2006, HELP of Door County, Inc. changed its mission to read: “to eliminate domestic abuse through prevention and intervention services and to advocate for social change.” Addressing the cause of domestic violence is complex, but both the unequal position of women in particular relationships and in society and the normative use of violence in conflict seem to be contributing factors for the perpetuation of domestic violence.

To go about social change, we have to first recognize the pervasiveness of violence in our society. Next, we need to consider how we really treat each other as human beings.

Webster’s defines violence as “physical force intended to cause injury or destruction; natural force, passion, intensity.” As we dissect the full definition, violent acts are intended to harm; however, “natural” implies innate, or not acquired, and passion and intensity are generally thought to be positive attributes. The notion that violence is an acceptable action for a human being combined with women’s unequal position to men implies that it is perfectly reasonable for men to use violence in their relationships with women.

In a single week, the media reported that “Batman” was arrested for assault, a mother was a person of interest in regard to her missing and presumed dead daughter, and a professional women’s basketball game ended in a fight. Week after week there are repeats of these stories where one individual is upset with another’s behavior or opinion and uses physical force. More often than not, when we observe someone who is physically abusing someone else, we simply ignore it, doing nothing to stop it. Parents do not allow their children to walk or ride their bikes too far from home because the streets are not safe. All too frequently we have another incident where someone goes on a shooting spree in some public place.

Verbal abuse is another form of physical violence. Sadly, due to this year’s presidential election we hear verbal attacks, name calling, put downs, “I’m right,” and gross distortions of what is said by the candidates on a daily basis. Don Imus, a nationally syndicated radio host, was fired from his job for a racial slur, but he is again back in business and again making more verbal slurs. Sports fans boo and name call a player or referee when they are unhappy, as well as throw things on the field. We laugh and ridicule someone when they make a mistake in public. More often than not, when someone is not like us, nasty and snide comments are made loud enough for the other to hear. Hundreds of children are bullied at school each day without recourse.

Not only are there many violent products available for purchase, but violence is used to sell them. From its first commercial, Capitol One has used some form of violence. An infant hits his father because he wants a Dairy Queen ice cream cone. Even Santa Claus was used as a weapon. The media uses headlines telling of violence to sell their newspapers, magazines, and network news programs. Every morning when The Today Show breaks for the local news, what we hear are the violent stories of the night before – almost exclusively.

Children are introduced to violence at an early age. For some they are disciplined with a slap, pinch, spank, and being yelled at with put downs or name calling. As they are warned that the outside world is not safe, they remain inside with so many toys and games with the theme of violence – guns, Star Wars action figures, GI Joe, Transformers, The Incredible Hulk, the many video games, “War,” “Slap Jack,” and boxing gloves. Their early introduction to television is cartoons, such as Cow and Chicken, Fantastic Four, and Teen Titans, just to name a violent few. Nor can we forget the blockbuster action movies that move from one violent scene to another. Sadly, teens and young adults have an increased interest in pornography.

Are you convinced that we not only live in a violent world, but that we see violence as a normal way to deal with life’s problems? If you do not want to live that way any longer, join us at HELP of Door County, Inc. (920.743.8818) to work for social change. It takes one person to say no to violence and find resolution to problems in a respectful manner to all human beings. When you buy, it was been said that you are casting your vote, in this instance for violence. You can boycott those products and movies, and not elect those individuals. Cast your vote for peace.

The Coordinated Community Response to Domestic Violence Team (CCR) is committed to the prevention of domestic violence by coordinating a consistent message and response to domestic violence. It is also dedicated to promoting cooperation, coordination, communication, and education among the criminal justice and other community systems with service providers, thus creating a safe community environment for victims of abuse, ensuring that abusers are held accountable for their behavior and decreasing the tolerance for violence in the community. Printed above is a column from CCR to promote education within the Door County community.