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Dear Mary Pat

I am expecting my first child in a couple of months and am surprised at all of the comments I hear, usually from complete strangers. I walked into a store the other day and a woman said, “My, you’re big!” Then I’ve also heard, “You must be due any day now.” And my personal favorite, “Are you sure you’re not having twins?!” My doctor assures me that my weight gain is perfect and that I am just where I should be at this point in my pregnancy, and my best friend tells me that one can’t even tell I’m pregnant from behind. I just happen to have a little basketball where my stomach used to be, but does that give people the right to comment so freely and so rudely?

Signed,

Are They Stork Raving Mad?

Fish Creek, WI

Dear Are They Stork Raving Mad?,

I’ve heard this complaint often enough from women who are expecting and I’m always dumbfounded at people’s lack of tact. I mean, would you go up to someone and say, “My, you’re fat!” or “I’ve noticed you’re getting pretty chubby lately.”? OF COURSE NOT!! The same rules should apply for moms-to-be. I am so careful around expectant mothers in fact that I never even comment on their condition unless they bring it up first. I never assume that they are expecting unless they go into labor right before my very eyes, and even then I would find a way of indirectly asking if they were pregnant just to be sure.

This rudeness will most likely only get worse as your due date approaches. I wish I could advise you to turn the tables on them by insulting their personal appearances, however, two rude wrongs don’t make a right. So smile, grit your teeth and know that you won’t have to worry about it for much longer. In the meantime, you can avoid the inevitable rude belly rub that comes along with these comments by saying you have a highly contagious rash on your stomach.

Good luck,

Mary Pat