Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Remember, Santa has been watching your every move, so he may have questions about what exactly that dance motion was.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Make a snow angel, and then add whiskers and a toupee to it. It’s a great way to make the neighbors wonder.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Adopt a family this holiday and you might just get adopted back.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20): It would be clever to bring mistletoe to the holiday party, but being clever is not necessarily a good thing this year.
Aries (March 21 – April 19): Have you noticed a few people muttering “Scrooge” under their breath? Consider the possibility that they are referring to you and be nicer.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20): During the cold months, dry skin is your enemy. Tackle this problem by remaining in your bathtub until May.
Gemini (May 21 – June 21): Your lucky holiday decoration this month is a giant air-filled team of reindeer on a bed of fake snow.
Cancer (June 22 – July 22): You get five stars for being responsible, but only one star for being fun. You can improve this by learning to juggle fire sticks.
Leo (July 23 – August 22): Celebrate the 12 days of Christmas by deleting one Britney Spears song from your iPod each day.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22): A past-due carton of egg nog will likely play a role in your purchase of new carpeting next month.
Libra (September 23 – October 22): This year, resolve to not have a resolution for New Year’s.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): Do spread good cheer and butter. Do not spread germs.