Letter to the Editor: See Dick. See Dick Run.

See Dick run for office, and try his best to destroy Gibraltar.

I’m thinking about leaving my wife. The political advantage to our union has been found out! You see, I married Dick Skare’s daughter, well, because she’s Dick Skare’s daughter. All part of our evil plan to ruin Fish Creek. I’m like the Jared Kushner of Door County, you see.

We thought we had you all fooled. While I was granted a Class A liquor license, all the other applications for Class A licenses have been denied! Not even Alpaca to Apparel could get one! Ignore, of course, the fact that an alpaca apparel store has indeed been granted said license. (They sell mead, and it’s good – check it out).

My wife also knows somebody else who is opening a business next door. And, they too have been granted the appropriate permits and licenses. It’s like that grand good ol’ boys club that I’ve heard so much about in Gibraltar township. I think my wife might even know everyone in town. To make sure the power stays in the family, Dick has made sure that she is on the Civic Association. Grooming her to fill the power vacuum, if he ever can let go the reins.

My boy due in September is going to be a Skare, as well. Not because I think my children should have their mother’s last name (she didn’t take mine), but because we need another generation of Skares to ruin everything Paul Pillat loves about Gibraltar. (I probably shouldn’t share this, but our next underground meeting is all about undoing all the good Paul has done for the town).

In Paul’s letter, I noticed no mention, of course, of who was denied the approval that I received. No mention of the fact that there was a similar store to mine in town up until a few years ago. No mention that most people who come into the store are excited about it (they’re just currying favor; trying to get close to Dick Skare by feigning enthusiasm over my vice peddling).

As for the other ridiculousness, I’ll just say that enforcing an ordinance from 1982 is what a town is supposed to do. If the ordinance needs revision, there are channels/procedures for that. Advocate for changes, if you want them. Permitting mishaps and/or paperwork snafus are part and parcel with large-scale construction projects – ask anyone who has been part of anything larger than organizing a grocery list, and don’t judge the project until it’s complete.

I’m tired of attacks against a decent man. If anybody wants to discuss it further, I’ll be at my new wine shop, selling political favors til 9pm every day.

Scotty Watts

Baileys Harbor, Wis.