Manners Matter

Dear Mary Pat,

I purchased a wedding gift for a couple who’s getting married next month, but I’m no longer invited to their wedding because they had to scale the numbers back. I spent a little more than I normally would to begin with, and now I’m wondering whether it’s too much. I typically spend more when I’m attending. I just don’t want to make them feel awkward.


Gift Quandary

Forestville, Wisconsin

Dear Gift Quandary,

I don’t think they’ll feel anything except gratitude for your generous gift. You should select a gift based on your budget and how well you know the couple – there isn’t a specific formula or a “right” amount to spend. If you purchased something off their registry and returned it, that might be awkward to explain. If you selected a gift outside of their registry and have decided that you really can’t afford it, that’s a different story. I hope this helps.  

Good luck,

Mary Pat

Miss Pat was educated at the Finnish Finishing School for Fine Ladies. Eloquent in edifying etiquette, she is fluent in seven languages, including the language of love. Mary Pat has generously extended her counsel to you and will answer any and all inquiries. Email Mary Pat at [email protected].