Manners Matter: Dec. 4, 2015

Dear Mary Pat,

My brother’s best friend got married six months ago. I’ve known “Joe” for more than 25 years now. Joe and his fiancée were on a very tight budget and when they asked me to make their wedding cake to help save on cost, I was happy to do it. I’ve been baking all my life but this was the first time that I’ve ever attempted to bake and decorate a tiered wedding cake. The original guest list was 45. Two weeks before the wedding, they tell me that the final guest count was 135. Big difference! I rallied and made adjustments and bought more supplies.

I’m not trying to brag, but the end result was beautiful. I decided this was going to be my gift to them and I went all out. I had one huge tiered cake and little individual cakes for each table and each was hand piped to perfection. It’s not an exaggeration to say that I spent about 30 hours making those cakes, not to mention more than $350 in supplies and ingredients. The day of the wedding, the bride gushed a little bit but “Joe” didn’t say anything to me. It’s been six months now and I haven’t received a thank you note. I am a little hurt. I poured my heart and soul into this and I wanted it to be special for them and I barely got an acknowledgement. Do they really get a year to say thank you? I feel like it’s too little too late at this point. At least my brother said thank you.


Baking Blues

Oconomowoc, Wis.


Dear Baking Blues,

This is disappointing to say the least. The day of the wedding was probably a whirlwind for both of them, but they have had 180 days or so since to properly thank you. (And I don’t buy that one-year rule by the way.)

They have either forgotten to include you in their thank you list or didn’t really appreciate the magnitude of your gift. Unfortunately, there are people who are oblivious and roll through life without realizing what others do for them. All hope is not lost, however. Your brother appreciated your gift and I’m sure other guests noticed your beautiful cakes.

Don’t let this one occasion lessen your generosity. It’s always better to give too much than to not stick your neck out for others. The next time you make something for a friend, I’m sure you will be appreciated.

Good luck,

Mary Pat

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