Manners Matter: Form Letter Thank You

Dear Mary Pat,

I attended a wedding a few months ago and just received a thank you note that was photocopied. There was a form letter thanking all of us for coming that the bride and groom each signed. I’m sorry, but is that a thing now? How do I know that they received the KitchenAid mixer that I sent? That can’t be an acceptable way for a bride and groom to thank someone for driving nearly five hours to their wedding, spending $400 on two nights in a hotel, and giving them a $275 gift. When I got married, we had 274 people at our wedding and each of them got a personal, handwritten thank-you note within five weeks. It has left a slightly bitter taste in my mouth.  

Signed,

Where’s the Gratitude?

Ellison Bay, Wis.

Dear Where’s the Gratitude,

I certainly hope that isn’t a thing now. It is indifferent, impersonal and shows very poor manners. I understand the amount of time and effort the bride and groom put into planning a wedding. I can also understand that a thank-you note won’t be arriving right away since the couple will most likely be taking a honeymoon right after the wedding. What I cannot understand, however, is why anyone would think that a generic “one size fits all” thank-you note would be sufficient. It’s cutting a major corner. It’s equally bad as texting a thank-you for a wedding gift.  

I think you should get in touch with the bride and confirm that she did in fact receive your gift. In a polite, non-snarky way (two wrongs don’t make a right) ask her if they did receive the mixer.

Good luck,

Mary Pat