Dear Mary Pat,
What do you think of a friend who never has dinner parties or group gatherings at her house, to reciprocate, because she doesn’t want to get her house dirty?
Sturgeon Bay, Wis.
I think your friend might have some issues with perfectionism, or maybe she has OCD? Have you ever asked her about it? Maybe she has genuine anxiety about entertaining for whatever reason and it’s just too much for her. Or possibly she is intimidated about a big group all coming over at once. Maybe suggest a smaller group and see if that makes a difference.
It is good form to open your home up to your friends, especially if they’ve done the same for you. If your friend doesn’t want to host anything at her house, I hope at the very least she offers to help you when you entertain. She can offer to bring a dish or help clean up after dinner.