Manners Matter: Keeping Bridal Showers Under Budget

Dear Mary Pat,

My high school friend is getting married this summer and we’ve always been very close. I’m throwing a shower for her next month and I’m trying really hard to keep it on budget. Apart from the three other weddings that I have to attend this summer, I’m also in the middle of finishing up a master’s degree. I just got an email from some of the other bridesmaids suggesting that we do a destination bachelorette weekend in Vegas. There’s no way I’ll be able to pull that off financially, not to mention that I won’t be able to get additional time off of work. I don’t want to offend one of my best friends, but a weekend in Vegas isn’t possible. How do I break this to her?


The Well is Dry

Madison, Wis.

Dear The Well is Dry,

Before you say anything to your friend, do you know for sure that this is happening? It was just a suggestion and you should weigh in with your thoughts. Just be very direct and tell them that you won’t be able to go. Ask if there are any other options on the table (local or a drive-able distance) and maybe even suggest an alternate location yourself. Some of the other bridesmaids might feel the same as you and you can scale this back. If, however, they all want to do this then you’ll have to bow out.

Your friend will be more understanding than you think. Not everyone is going to be available for every social occasion and you are throwing her a shower. She will appreciate that. It’s impossible to please everyone. Your school work and your budget are two

very important things and while you might feel sad to miss this particular party, you shouldn’t feel guilty or apologize.

Good luck,

Mary Pat

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