Manners Matter: Not Your Bridal Bank

Dear Mary Pat,

My best friend is getting married and I’m her maid of honor. I’ve spent a considerable amount of money on a dress, shoes, a destination bachelorette party and I threw her a wedding shower. And I spent it happily. You can imagine that I was a little taken aback then when my friend said that wedding expenses were getting a little out of control and asked me and the rest of the bridal party to kick in for part of the reception. This isn’t normal, is it?  I’ve warned her that budgets are important for weddings. I’ve seen their guest list grow to well over 300 and them spending money on non-essentials. When I got married three years ago, I stuck to the plan. We paid for a good portion of it and my parents and husband’s parents also contributed as well. We made cuts where we needed to and still had a beautiful ceremony and reception. How do I get through to my best friend without hurting her feelings?


Not Your Bridal Bank

Green Bay, Wis.


Dear Not Your Bridal Bank,

Where do I start? This is insane. First of all, you and the rest of the bridal party have to say no. It’s not your job to fund their reception.  They are adults and they have to be realistic about what they can afford. Maybe they need to cut 20 percent of the guest list. Maybe they need to cut the videographer or get a smaller cake or find a more affordable venue. They will have to make those decisions on their own. You can give your opinion if asked. Between Pinterest and royal weddings, brides and grooms can get a little ahead of themselves trying to plan the “perfect wedding” and things can spiral out of control. I do hope that your friend take a moment to think about what she has asked of you, then promptly goes to work on getting her budget back in order.

Good luck,

Mary Pat


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