Dear Mary Pat,
My brother and sister-in-law just ended a nine-year marriage. I’m sad for him but wasn’t surprised at all when his wife left. I know I’m biased and taking his side, but she was bad news. Always out for herself and what my brother could do for her. I won’t bother listing her faults since it’s not really important now. My brother just started dating someone and I’m really concerned. First of all, it’s only been two months. Secondly, she’s exactly like his soon-to-be ex-wife. This can’t end well and I don’t want him to go through any more pain. Should I say something?
Sturgeon Bay, Wis.
Dear Concerned Sister,
You are his sister, so you should definitely try to say something. However, you need to choose your words carefully. If I were you, I would focus on him versus pointing out this new woman’s faults since that will most likely backfire. Let him know you want him to be happy and ask him if he would consider taking a little break from relationships for a little while. I know a lot of people want to run right out and find a new someone to help them get over an old someone, but it’s good to step back and do a postmortem on what happened. If not, history does have a way of repeating itself. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that she’s exactly like his ex.
After you share your thoughts and concerns with your brother, you are going to have to leave it up to him to decide.