Manners Matter: Too Many Summer Guests

Dear Mary Pat,

Help! I’m overwhelmed with summer visitors and I’m starting to feel like a short order cook as well as a maid. This wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t working 30 hours a week on top of it all. I thought your golden years were supposed to be relaxing? Between grandchildren and old friends, we have a revolving door this time of year. One group leaves just as the next one is arriving. I feel like the horse has left the barn already, but is there a tactful way to dial it back? I’m exhausted.

Signed,

Buh Bye

Sister Bay, Wis.

Dear Buh Bye,

My hope for you is that you aren’t as busy in the fall and that with the kids heading back to school soon, your “guest house” will start to see less traffic. There isn’t much to be done about this year, but next year is a totally different story. You need to have a master calendar and plan out the whole season at a time. Leave yourself enough room in between visits to catch your breath. Learn how to say no if friends ask to come stay with you and you just don’t have the energy for them, especially if they are the ones who are making more work for you. You shouldn’t be their short order cook; they should be cooking for you (or taking you out) since you are hosting them.

When your grandchildren are at your house, it is completely reasonable for you to give them chores. They should be helping to make dinner and cleaning up after themselves. Grandmas and grandpas obviously have “spoiling” as part of the job description, but kids can still pick up after themselves and not leave dirty towels on the floor, etc. If your grandchildren are older, make a list of things you’d like them to help out with and reward them with an ice cream cone or a night out mini golfing.

It’s wonderful to be generous and open your home up to friends and family, but that doesn’t mean you need to do all of the heavy lifting.

Good luck,

Mary Pat