Manners Matter: Visiting Home

Dear Mary Pat,

Our son isn’t speaking to us since we didn’t let him and his girlfriend share a room when they were visiting over New Year’s Eve. They are in their mid-20s and I know that they think that my husband and I are too strict but that’s been our house rule since his older siblings brought their girlfriends and boyfriends around. I think he assumed since he’s the youngest by quite a few years, we would have relaxed our view on things; we haven’t and don’t ever intend to do so. Only spouses share rooms in our home. We reminded him in plenty of time for him to make other arrangements if he didn’t think it was fair. I’m not sure if I should reach out to him to explain things again or just let it be for now.

Signed,

House Rules

Ephraim, Wis.

Dear House Rules,

I think you should let it be. You have the right to do as you choose in your own home. If unmarried guests sharing a room goes against your beliefs or wishes, then you can absolutely insist that they sleep in separate quarters. If this cramps their style or doesn’t work for them, they are free to book a hotel or stay with friends. The silent treatment is not a mature way for your son to handle his disappointment. When he chooses to start acting like an actual adult, perhaps you can have a conversation with him at that point.

Good luck,

Mary Pat