Manners Matter: Waiting for Love

Dear Mary Pat,

I’ve been seeing a man for the past six months who has been legally separated from his wife for nearly four years. I believe (and I think he does, too) that we are perfectly matched in so many ways, and our relationship is serious. We want to get married. The only thing that gives me pause is that he is still in the process of getting divorced from his ex, and it’s a been a nightmare. They can’t agree on anything, and the more they bicker over trivial things, the longer the process becomes. The only thing that they agree on is that they never should have been married in the first place. I try to be supportive, but quite frankly I’m tired of the whole thing. They should each compromise and move on. The money that they are fighting over is just going to end up going to the attorneys. I don’t know how to get through to him.


In Limbo
Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin

Dear In Limbo,

It sounds like you have already told him how you feel, and I’m sure you’ve ended up listening to the postmortem on their relationship more times than you’d care to count. You have no control over how he acts or how his soon-to-be ex-wife acts. Maybe take a step back and let them work through this. If you keep your distance, it will give him time to reflect on what his priorities are. If you are a high priority, he will find his way to leave his past in the past and make a future with you.  

Good luck,

Mary Pat