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Overheard and Pet Peeves

OVERHEARD

Are there tid-bits of conversations you’ve heard while standing in line at the grocery store, serving a table, or walking down the sidewalk that make you smile, cringe or laugh out loud?

“I subject my liver for The Knowledge of Taste.”

“I don’t want to forsake it, I want to buy it!”

“Could we use that scale to sell art by the pound?”

“Either I am looking damn good or the end of the world’s coming hot.”

“I’ve been getting an outstanding amount of ‘huns,’ ‘sugars,’ and ‘darlings’ today.”

“I’m really a strong mover.”

“Do you have what it takes…to be in our elementary school talent show?”

“Mints! Throw one at my head.”

“I loathe everyone who breathes within 15 feet of me.”

“I subdued the suspect with a head butt.”

“I could smell Studio 8H on him.”

“I’m sure no one will mind if I’m singing a bluegrass rendition of Missy Elliot’s ‘Pussycat.’”

PET PEEVES

Is there something that really irks you, gets your goat, rubs you the wrong way, drives you up the wall, gets you bent out of shape, puts a stick in your craw, or makes you want to throw in the towel?

“When people post photos of their grotesque cuts, bruises, broken bones, or foot fungus on social media. Ewww!” ~ Don’t Need to See it to Believe It

“When you’re doing fives miles above the speed limit and you see a driver a half-mile or more behind you in your rearview mirror, and you watch with growing disdain as they catch up and ride your tail. Makes you wish for a rear-mounted bazooka.” ~ Bazooka Joe

“Businesses that private-label and say they make it.” ~ Anonymous

“Easter Egg Hunts that do not provide age appropriate candy. Young children should not be given big bubble gum balls or hard candies that they could choke on. I understand you are providing for a lot of children but please spend the little extra to get candy the children can enjoy instead of something their parents will have to immediately take away.” ~ Concerned Parents Everywhere

Be a part of the Pulse! Send over your SHOUT OUTS, OBSESSIONS, OVERHEARDS, or PET PEEVES to [email protected] with one of the above categories in the subject line…and, let us know if you’d prefer the submission be printed anonymously.