Overheard and Pet Peeves

OVERHEARD

Are there tid-bits of conversations you’ve heard while standing in line at the grocery store, serving a table, or walking down the sidewalk that make you smile, cringe or laugh out loud?

“Wake me up when today is over.”

“Often imitated, never duplicated.”

“I love it when you wear heels. Especially when you scrape them on the sidewalk and it sounds like a fart. Sexy.”

“I am honestly shocked at the lack of ‘Missed Connections’ written about me.”

“Oh, and there goes a dead deer in a truck! It has begun.”

“That’s when you wanna come out, slap ‘em on the butt and say, ‘Go hide. Dude. Go hide!’”

PET PEEVES

Is there something that really irks you, gets your goat, rubs you the wrong way, drives you up the wall, gets you bent out of shape, puts a stick in your craw, or makes you want to throw in the towel?

Filling the kitchen sink with dishes and then turning the hot water on, only to realize you never plugged the drain.

Vehicles driving the speed limit in front of you who, upon seeing a law enforcement vehicle, slow their speed to 10 mph under the speed limit. Do you think the law enforcement officer is going to pull you aside and give you a prize for that? The answer is no, no they are not.

Passive-aggressive women at the grocery store. Listen, if I was interested in competing with you for male attention, I’d be at the bar. Now move over and let me get my cereal.

Deadlines.

Fruit flies, especially weeks after you’ve gone through all the trouble of cleaning up every crumb and piece of fruit in sight.

The ongoing fat women vs. skinny women debate (AKA: “men like a woman with meat on her bones”/ “real women have curves”). Can’t we all just get along?

Wildlife crossing a good distance in front of your vehicle that, once almost across the street (and out of your way), freaks out and decides to run back across the street, forcing you to slam your breaks and curse yourself for being an animal lover.

Be a part of the Pulse! Send over your SHOUT OUTS, OBSESSIONS, OVERHEARDS, or PET PEEVES to [email protected] with one of the above categories in the subject line…and, let us know if you’d prefer the submission be printed anonymously.