Overheard at the JJ Roast

More than 200 of Northern Door’s finest turned out Sunday, Sept. 26 to watch Sister Bay restaurateur James “JJ” Johnson get thrown on the grill in a benefit roast for the Door Community Auditorium.

Largely organized by Dick Burress, the evening was a resurrection of the celebrity roasts last held 30 years ago, when the likes of Al Johnson, Keta Steebs, Winky Larson and Earl Willems were “honored.”

The dress code was “JJ” casual at the roast of restaurateur James “JJ” Johnson.

The dress code for the event at the Gordon Lodge was “JJ” casual, and the audience took the code to heart, with calf-covering black socks standing proud beneath khaki shorts at many tables. Burress emceed the evening masterfully, while an army of roasters included Jeff Benson, Anne Emerson, Digger DeGroot, Jeanne Aurelius, Steve Fischer, Tera Mueller, Mike Mead and Bill Calkins.

Burress started the evening with a nod to two great friends of JJ that couldn’t attend – the state building inspector and the fire marshal. With that, the roasters were off, powered by a busy bar and the promise of Bernies. What follows is a look at some of the evenings best lines and moments.

Jeff Benson took folks back to JJ’s first restaurant at the Alibi Dock in Fish Creek.

“JJ had a little problem opening at Alibi because he always had a note on the door that said ‘I’ll be back soon.’”

Digger DeGroot took issue with his placement on the night’s roster, which had him speaking as salad was served. “Do I look like a friggin salad?!” he exclaimed, turning to his side to highlight a belly most appropriate for dessert. Then he launched a barrage of one-liners in classic roast style:

Digger DeGroot got some shots in at JJ and others.

“When JJ was a young man his parents took him aside, and left him there.”

“I don’t remember when JJ started at the Alibi dock because I also don’t remember 1972.”

“What other restaurant owner would name his dog and his kids after hamburgers?”

Old family friend Jeanne Aurelius tried to sum him up as “The tallest man in town. The Grand Bandito. The Gringo Bandito.” Then she hit it in a phrase: “Where there’s JJ, there’s a party and it’s gonna be fun.”

Aurelius hammered on JJ’s well-known hoarding habit and incessant search for a deal – whether he knew what he was in search of or not. She remembered running into JJ’s wife Kris – “JJ’s daily roaster” – over the years, frustrated with her husband’s latest bargain hunting.

“I’m so mad,” she’d say. “JJ bought a farm.” Or “I’m so mad, JJ bought a donkey.” Or, eventually, another restaurant.

Steve Fischer, clad in full JJ attire, didn’t say much before finishing with a dry, “JJ, you light up my life.” Then he poured Bernies, JJ’s trademark concoction of tequila, orange slice, and cinnamon, for the head table.

The man of the hour received a sweet serenade from Anne Emerson, before Tara Mueller reminisced on what working for JJ might entail.

“He might come in and ask, ‘What are you doing right now?’ and the next thing you know you end up feeding the donkey.”

Mike Mead noted how he just missed out on a job working for JJ way back in the day, probably a good thing, then noted the contrast in styles Kris and JJ brought to the table as business partners.

“Kris,” Mead remembered JJ pleading, “You know, we’re Norwegian, we’re not Russian.”

The night was capped with a visit from “Future JJ,” played by Larry Thoreson, fresh off his purchase of Scandia Village.

Though most of the night was spent looking back, the roast ended with a look into the future, as Bill Calkins interviewed a vision of JJ (played to a T by Larry Thoreson) 20 years hence. Strolling into the room, socks high, belly out, coffee mug in hand (but no word on what was inside), future JJ hadn’t changed too much.

“How are you doing JJ?” Calkins asked.

“Weeeell, I don’t know,” future JJ drawled, leaning back, head shaking. It just so happened that future JJ had found a deal, buying Scandia Village to house his army of grandkids.

And what did Kris think about his latest purchase, Calkins asked.

“Well, I haven’t exactly told her yet.”

Check out more scenes from the roast by Dan Eggert at http://www.doorcountyphotos.com and outtakes in a video produced by Chris Miller at http://vimeo.com/15343210.