Overheards, Shout Outs, and Pet Peeves

BEST OVERHEARDS OF 2012

Are there tid-bits of conversations you’ve heard while standing in line at the grocery store, serving a table, or walking down the sidewalk that make you smile, cringe or laugh out loud?

“You stole my sushi roll with your tweezers!”

“Valentine’s Day is like the dentist – painful and awkward.”

“It smells like bad yogurt or armpits in here.”

“Why is Lance Armstrong on steroids? You don’t need to be strong to walk on the moon.”

“I suck so bad at darts, I had to buy a bar just to get on the team.”

“You know it’s going to be a good time when there’s a turkey on the wall.”

“I told her to just enjoy her oldness.”

“Which beach is closest to the water?”

“I had a dream Institute had skyscrapers, and an ATM.”

“You know it’s a horse race when Bob Costas looks tall.”

“Oh, you have a good French onion story? Then I’m staying.”

“I felt male pregnant yesterday.”

“You guys are talking about cat farts through my office?!”

“You’re like an elephant – not in a fat way, just in the way you drink water kind of way.”

“Dear diary, listen to this.”

SHOUT OUTS

Is there someone or something that deserves a pat on the back or a slap on the wrist?

“Shout out to Sandy Blahnik from the St. Paul’s Lutheran Sunday Schoolers. Each year she makes dozens of homemade gingerbread houses and brings frosting and tons of candies for decorating. The kids look forward to it so much! It is a huge effort on her part and we just want to say, ‘Thank you, Sandy! Merry Christmas!’” ~ Karen Peterson

“Shout out to all of Door County’s do-gooders, event planners, artists, musicians, business owners, entrepreneurs, residents, visitors, everyone who contributed to the pages of our publication this year. Happy Holidays to you and yours!” ~ Staff of Peninsula Pulse

BEST PET PEEVES OF 2012

Is there something that really irks you, gets your goat, rubs you the wrong way, drives you up the wall, gets you bent out of shape, puts a stick in your craw, or makes you want to throw in the towel?

“When you go to the gas pump in winter, stick your card in, and then the machine asks you too many questions before you can get the gas. ‘No! I don’t want a car wash – I’m freezing out here!’” ~ Anonymous

“When the summer heat does strange things…like makes your poster putty no longer sticky, which is terrifying when you are sleeping and a National Geographic world map falls on your face.” ~ Victim of Gooey Poster Putty

“Tissues that disintegrate in your hand. Really, if I had wanted to blow my nose directly on my fingers, I would have skipped the tissue altogether!” ~ Anonymous

“When strangers touch my pregnant belly. You want me to touch your un-pregnant belly? I didn’t think so.” ~ 7 Months Along

“Falling down…in public.” ~ Anonymous

“When a random, excitable Green Bay Packers fan tries to give you a high five, misses your wide open palm by a mile, and smacks you square in the face. First down!” ~ Bruised Packers Fan

Be a part of the Pulse! Send over your SHOUT OUTS, OBSESSIONS, OVERHEARDS, or PET PEEVES to [email protected] with one of the above categories in the subject line…and, let us know if you’d prefer the submission be printed anonymously.