Navigation

Recognize Those Side Effects? Well, Name That Drug!

When I invited people to request their favorite columns from years past, I wasn’t really surprised that the ones I wrote around April Fool’s Day each year were the most requested. The following column, which originally ran on April 3, 2009, came up just a few days ago in conversation so, by request, here it is again – though I should note that I updated the side effects from the original and added one new drug that particularly irritates me every time I see the advertisement on television.

These days, it is almost impossible to watch news coverage on television without being subjected to several commercials touting a prescription drug. Every ailment you have ever heard of, and a multitude of ailments you either never heard of or never realized were ailments, has some treatment available from some drug manufacturer or other, and all you have to do is “talk to your doctor about [fill in the drug name]” and you can potentially be on your way to a new and better you.

There is one thing about these commercials though that is rather unsettling. As you watch carefree individuals enjoying life on your television screen who – presumably – were suffering through their appointed ailment (and life) before taking the prescription drug being promoted, there is a voiceover (that often lasts half the commercial’s length!) warning you of possible side effects or complications. I watch these commercials and invariably turn to Barb and wonder aloud, “Who in their right mind would take any of this crap?”

Well, maybe I’m the only one who listens closely to this portion of the drug commercials. Barb always tells me I pay way too much attention to commercials, generally, but come on – does anyone really go into their doctor and ask for a prescription to one of these drugs? Obviously, the drug manufacturers must see some return on their advertising investment, but after you listen to the potential side effects you really need to ask yourself if any of these drugs are really going to improve your quality of life.

Well, here’s a little quiz to test your knowledge of the potential side effects of various drugs. Most of these are prescription drugs, but I’ve also included two illegal drugs and one common drug that is found in many of our foods and beverages. Your job is to match the drug to its possible side effects. And please note, if you find yourself increasingly appalled as you work through this little exercise – congratulations! You should be appalled.

The following drugs match one of the list of side effects below. Good luck (I guess).

Lanoxin, Detrol, Lipitor, Cocaine, Celebrex, Marijuana, Wellbutrin, Caffeine, Zoloft

Drug A

Side effects may include: Abdominal pain, agitation, anxiety, constipation, decreased sex drive, diarrhea or loose stools, difficulty with ejaculation, dizziness, dry mouth, fatigue, gas, headache, decreased appetite, increased sweating, indigestion, insomnia, nausea, nervousness, pain, rash, sleepiness, sore throat, tingling or pins and needles, tremors, vision problems, vomiting

Drug B

Side effects may include: Abdominal pain, abnormal heartbeat, accidental injury, allergic reaction, arthritis, back pain, bronchitis, chest pain, constipation, diarrhea, dizziness, flu symptoms, fluid retention, gas, headache, indigestion, infection, inflammation of sinus and nasal passages, insomnia, joint pain, muscle aching or weakness, nausea, rash, stomach pain, urinary tract infection, weakness

Drug C

Side effects may include: Dizziness, irritability, nausea, nervousness, severe allergic reactions (rash, hives, itching, difficulty breathing, tightness in the chest, swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue), diarrhea, shakiness, trouble sleeping, vomiting, dehydration

Drug D

Side effects may include: Abdominal pain, diarrhea, headache, indigestion, nausea, respiratory infection, sinus inflammation, fever, skin rash, abnormal growth in the breasts, blurred vision, chills, dry mouth, earache, heavy bleeding, increased hunger and thirst, painful blisters on the trunk of the body, soreness or redness around fingernails and toenails, vomiting of blood or material that looks like coffee grounds, and swelling of face, fingers, feet, or lower legs

Drug E

Side effects may include: changes in blood pressure, heart rates, breathing rate, nausea, vomiting, insomnia, loss of appetite, cold sweats, swelling and bleeding of mucous membranes, restlessness and anxiety, damage to lungs, possible heart attacks, strokes, or convulsions

Drug F

Side effects may include: Abdominal pain, blurred vision, constipation, diarrhea, dizziness, drowsiness, dry eyes, dry mouth, fatigue, flu-like symptoms, headache, indigestion, vertigo, forgetfulness, difficulty swallowing, hives, hallucinations, tingling of the hands or feet

Drug G

Side effects may include: Agitation, constipation, dizziness, dry mouth, excessive sweating, headache, nausea, vomiting, skin rash, sleep disturbances, tremors

Drug H

Side effects may include: Apathy, blurred vision, breast development in males, change in heartbeat, confusion, diarrhea, dizziness, headache, loss of appetite, lower stomach pain, nausea, psychosis, rash, vomiting, weakness, yellow vision

Drug I

Side effects may include: Tremors, nausea, headache, decreased coordination, breathing problems, increased appetite, reduced blood flow to the brain, changes in the reproductive organs

Drug J

Side effects may include: blurred vision, breast enlargement or pain, crying, diarrhea, dizziness, fever & chills, gum pain, hoarseness, indigestion, itching skin, loss of interest or pleasure, lower back pain, mouth ulcers, nervousness, noisy breathing, pounding in the ears, slow or fast heartbeat, swelling of the nose, trouble concentrating

Answers:

A is Zoloft (for depression)

B is Lipitor (lowers cholesterol)

C is Caffeine (coffee, soda, & energy drinks, anyone?)

D is Celebrex (acute pain/arthritis)

E is Cocaine (illegal)

F is Detrol (overactive bladder)

G is Wellbutrin (major depression)

H is Lanoxin (congestive heart failure)

I is Marijuana (illegal)

J is Axiron (for low testosterone)