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Siberian Sabbatical

Well, we meet again everybody. As the Russians like to say, “to your health.”

I have been living in Siberia for just about two months now. I have pretty much settled in with my host family, to the point of feeling comfortable enough to walk around in my underwear (hey, here everyone does it). The culture, on the other hand, has only become more mysterious.

When I first arrived, I was so naive that the customs seemed very similar to the United States. However, upon further examination, things are quite different. The language is also a difficulty. I long for someone to understand my American English. I think in the city where I live (Irkust, population: 600,000) I am probably one of the only, if not the only, American living here. The students in my school only learn British English, to the point of having a slight accent, if you can believe it.

The teachers speak very good English, but don’t get everything spot on. Every time I see them it is always, “Oh Sam, nice to meet you,” even though I have known them for almost two months. I feel bad correcting the teachers but I have had a fun time teaching the students American slang. If they only knew what they were saying!

I shouldn’t complain though, as my language has been getting worse since my arrival. It isn’t a very good feeling not being able to speak very good Russian or English.

One very interesting difference between Russia and the United States is the fashion here. In the United States you are able to distinguish between the different age groups. Here it isn’t so. It is a little harsh to see a 70-year-old lady walking down the street in skin-tight leopard-print pants with a matching tube top – and thinking that could be my grandmother.

Since it has gotten colder, the slinky outfits of summer have given way to many luxurious fur jackets and knee high boots. The hats here are just hilarious! I have mistaken many of them for pumpkins and apples (hmmm, with that thought I could really go for a juicy apple from Seaquist’s right about now).

Along with the hats and slinky outfits are the shoes. I believe in Russia it is considered a sin to go out in public with dirty shoes. If you have dirty shoes, people look at you like you have no clothes on. Every night my host mom forces me to polish and shine my school shoes, saying that clean shoes make for clean minds. She also makes me clean my street shoes, which isn’t a very fun task if you know anything about Siberian mud.

Apart from my home, my school, Lyceum, seems to have an obsession about not only my shoes but also my appearance in general. When I arrive and I have the slightest amount of mud or snow on my shoes, the principal leads me by the hand to the door and tells me I cannot enter until I have cleaned them. But that’s the least of it.

The girls are not allowed to have their hair down, and if the principal catches them with any hairstyle besides a ponytail, there will be hell to pay – the same goes for boys. I was very surprised because a large number of boys in Lyceum have long hair, and I expected Lyceum to have a maximum hair length for boys. Apart from the hair and shoes, there is a very rigid dress code – black pants, white shirt, and a tie if you really want to kiss butt. The ultimate sin in Lyceum is to come to school in blue jeans.

My friend Arthur came to school one day in corduroys, not even blue jeans, and a sweater vest. When our principal saw him she called his parents and sent him home. My friends and I have taken to calling our principal Comrade Stalinovich Lenin. Here, I can really see the meaning of the phrase, “Absolute power, corrupts absolutely.”

Now, I think it is time for all of you to hear two good aspects of my life here. Where else other than Russia can you buy fresh yak juice from a 90-year-old babushka on the street? Or see a beautiful 300-year-old church used as a bread-making factory? Ok, that last one was a joke, as it is now being restored; but during the Soviet Union that really is what it was used for. In fact, before the Soviet Union Irkutsk had over 40 churches dating to the 18th century. The Communists destroyed all but 12 of them.

Where else other than Russia do you see a CD in a store that costs 1,000 rubles and then go to the Chinese market and buy the exact same CD for maybe 250 rubles? Where else other than Russia do you get a free pack of cigarettes with every 1000 rubles you spend in a children’s toy store? This is exactly why I came to Russia!

So I hope you can start to realize how very different Russia is from the United States. I also hope you learn to appreciate what you have where you live. I know I sure have, especially the weather. As of now, the last week of October, we have about three inches of snow of the ground and the temperature hasn’t risen above 32 degrees once. I was told that this has been a very mild fall. I just cannot wait for what is to come! So eat some apples and enjoy the beautiful fall in Door County that I am missing here in Siberia. To beautiful Russian women and cheap beer! HAHA mom, that was a joke.