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The Perils of Online Plagiarism or Giving Gene Ziegler the Credit He Deserves

One of the drawbacks to our interconnectedness is that an individual’s creative work is often shared and re-shared and re-shared and, eventually, the creative mind behind the original idea or work is lost. Whether the co-opting of these creative efforts is intentional or simply an oversight doesn’t really matter because, in every case, the result is simply plagiarism.

I confess that I periodically “Google” my name to see what pops up and I have, on several occasions, discovered that my writings have been “borrowed” by other writers without my consent. In one instance I discovered that a website had re-printed an entire column I had authored and, though gave me (and the Peninsula Pulse) credit, the intent of the column had been re-purposed in order to sell something. Needless to say I quickly suggested that they remove the column from their website or face legal consequences – they reluctantly complied.

And this brings me to the unfortunate story of Gene Ziegler. Back in 1994 Ziegler wrote the poem you see re-printed below. Unfortunately, someone came upon his work, edited it down, re-titled the resulting shortened poem as “What If Dr. Seuss Did Technical Writing?” listed the “author” as “Anonymous,” and then sent it out in an email (keep in mind that, in those days, email was the preferred manner of sharing everything – texting, instant messaging, and social media sites like Facebook didn’t exist).

Well, before too long, Ziegler’s re-fashioned poem was showing up in inboxes across the planet, and in every instance the creative force behind the charming poem was simply listed as “Anonymous.”

And so, dear readers, in the interest of correcting a gross oversight and to provide Ziegler an opportunity to receive his due acknowledgement, I am printing his entire poem, as he wrote it, with his name clearly attached to his creation. Enjoy!

A Grandchild’s Guide to Using Grandpa’s Computer

By Gene Ziegler

Bits Bytes Chips Clocks

Bits in bytes on chips in box.

Bytes with bits and chips with clocks.

Chips in box on ether-docks.

Chips with bits come. Chips with bytes come.

Chips with bits and bytes and clocks come.

Look, sir. Look, sir, read the book, sir.

Let’s do tricks with bits and bytes, sir.

Let’s do tricks with chips and clocks, sir.

First, I’ll make a quick trick bit stack.

Then I’ll make a quick trick byte stack.

You can make a quick trick chip stack.

You can make a quick trick clock stack.

And here’s a new trick on the scene.

Bits in bytes for your machine.

Bytes in words to fill your screen.

Now we come to ticks and tocks, sir.

Try to say this by the clock, sir.

Clocks on chips tick.

Clocks on chips tock.

Eight byte bits tick.

Eight bit bytes tock.

Clocks on chips with eight bit bytes tick.

Chips with clocks and eight byte bits tock.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,

and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,

and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort

then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,

and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn’t hash,

then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gunna crash.

You can’t say this? What a shame, sir!

We’ll find you another game, sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house

says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,

but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,

that’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

and your screen is all distorted by the side-effects of gauss,

so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,

then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

cause as sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gunna hang!

When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy on the disk,

and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,

then you have to flash your memory

and you’ll want to RAM your ROM.

quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom!