To Whom It May Concern

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing to recommend Autumn for the position recently left vacant by Summer. I have observed Autumn’s work for the last 40 years or so and feel I am as qualified as anyone to comment on her abilities.

For at least the past 40 years, Autumn has faithfully, and without complaint, ushered in Packer football seasons, kicked off school years, and provided meaningful work for sweater manufacturers and kids with rakes. She has been a major sponsor of the annual harvest of pumpkins, apples, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, and zucchini, to name a few. I don’t even have to mention how each year she hosts that beloved children’s event: Halloween. And, of course, her crowning achievement: the fall color display in collaboration with the trees of our community. Her management skills have allowed all of these to come off like clockwork. Of course, it would be difficult in this space to elaborate on all of her accomplishments.

I understand that in the eyes of a few, Summer has left some big shoes to fill. However, sometimes big shoes just mean they were on the clearance rack. As you consider Autumn for this position, let me be candid: This has not been a stellar year for Summer. Yes, there was that sunny week in June, and the fireworks were OK, and the spinach came up nicely. But, personally, I think any loudmouth with an Associates Degree in P.E. could do what Summer does. This year, I am sure many would agree, she phoned it in. Like the waiter at that lakeside bar and grill who seemed so friendly and funny at first: “How’s it goin’, Boss? What can I do you for?” Ha. Ha. Ha. But he was nowhere to be found when it came to re-filling your Diet RC Cola, or bringing that bottle of A-1 Steak Sauce after you asked for it three times. If he thought he was going to escape without eating one of my signature piercing glares in tip reduction sauce, he was deluded. Anyway, if you check the time cards, Summer showed up late for the first day of work. About three weeks late, as I recall. And there were days, even weeks on end, where she was absent without as much as a phone call. For example, my one week of vacation: 63-degrees and rainy. Come on! This is July 30th, people! Any chimp with The Old Farmer’s Almanac could have done a better job.

But enough about Summer’s lack of aptitude, I am writing on behalf of Autumn. I understand this is just seasonal work, but Autumn’s abilities cannot be overstated and she would be perfect to pick up where Summer left off. In fact, she would bring a necessary change of direction. After the mindless, devil-may-care stupor that Summer left us with, you will find that Autumn will create a much-needed atmosphere of introspection: How did we do this year? What will we do with the time we have left? Who can we give all this zucchini to?

I highly recommend Autumn to you for this opportunity. She is clearly the next logical step for your organization. Thank you for your consideration.

Kind Regards.

Kyle White is a free-lance writer and illustrator pining for Wisconsin while living in Sycamore, Illinois with his wife and their two children.