Two Bible-Black Beers

Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout

What a deliciously, lip-smackingly beautiful beer. I’m reminded of my favorite Dylan Thomas line, when he refers to a moonless spring night in the Welsh coastal town that stars in his play for voices Under Milk Wood as “starless and bible-black.”

This is a limited release 9.2 percent ale brewed with “Hard Core Coffee” by the Lagunitas Brewing Co. of Petaluma, Calif.

Coffee and stout were made for each other, as were stout and cherries, but that’s for another day.

I’ve had some excellent coffee stouts. Best so far was served at O’so Brewing’s 5th anniversary held last November at their tap house in Plover, Wis. They have 40 taps of Wisconsin beers, but for their anniversary they put 40 of their own beers on tap.

Try as I might, I was not able to sample all 40. I tried a mere 25 or so, each one more amazing than the last. One of those was a Kenyan coffee stout called Keep Me Up Sammy that I remember tasted like the best cup of coffee I’d ever had.

Cappuccino Stout is a close second as a great coffee stout. Not that it has the intense coffee flavor of O’so’s Keep Me Up Sammy, more that it lives up to its name – the rich and creamy Italian coffee drink known as cappuccino.

First is a giant burst of darkness that sets off a great creamy dark chocolate/espresso/liquid tiramisu tsunami across the palate.

Yum, let me savor that again…I’m taking another sip, and if you could hear me now I would sound something like Homer Simpson in bacon ecstasy.

Is this a milk stout? Could be, but the label on bomber bottle doesn’t say much about the beer. There is a box of agate type on the side of the label that implies Hitlerian policies imposed by the Food and Drug Administration, the final arbiter on beer labels, have stopped the brewery from being able to fully extol the virtues of this beer. (The line I refer to reads: “Turns out talking about a {sic} ale’s happy side is verboten in Amerika.”)

I don’t know what that’s all about. I suppose I could find out, but this beer has mellowed me out too much to care about FDA policies. Right now, it just doesn’t matter. This is a great beer. I found mine at Main Street Market at a very good price.

Black Boss Porter

Speaking of good prices, I know a place where you can get a very tasty Polish pint (1 pint, 0.9 fluid ounces) of 9.4 percent Black Boss Polish Porter for $1.99. It’s worth the drive to Club Liquor in Menasha because, in addition to this bold Baltic porter from Poland, you will find many other exotic liquid products at good prices (I also picked up a bottle of caramel Pearl vodka for $3.99 and a bottle of Crème de Framboise – a French raspberry liqueur – for $5.99; I’ll find uses for both and I’ll let you know how the experiments turn out).

But back to the Black Boss. Blackstrap molasses and what I can only describe as char are the dominant flavors here. I have to believe, and the name backs up this belief, that the Polish brewery, Browar Witnica, uses the blackest of malts, Black Patent Malt, to make this weirdly named brew. It’s a veritable symphony of darkness in your mouth.

Buck 99!