Walker’s State Parks Plan Makes April Fools’ Joke Seem Like Reality

We got a lot of calls and emails after our first April Fools’ edition of the Peninsula Pulse newspaper came out in 2011.

Most of those who called were confused. One called in tears. More than a couple were angry. One particularly incensed gentleman hung up on me, but not before telling me bluntly, “you’re not funny.”

The cover story that inspired laughs, and some tears, from our readers.

The joke that irked readers was a fake cover story titled, “Governor Leases Peninsula State Park for $1.1 billion.”

Our cover featured an artist’s rendering of high-rise condominiums atop Eagle Bluff, which we thought made the article unbelievable.

“All main arterial roads leading into the park will be barricaded and policed by an independent security company,” the article said. “If you want to take a walk in the park in the twenty-first century, then work harder, and buy yourself a park.”

We thought there was humor in the absurdity, but in light of Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker’s most recent moves I think maybe that incensed caller was right. Maybe it wasn’t funny at all.

Cathy Stepp, the secretary of the Department of Natural Resources, told the Wisconsin Legislature’s state budget committee that she was exploring selling naming rights to the state parks.

This comes on the heels of Walker’s budget proposal that calls for the elimination of 66 positions in the DNR, mostly science and education positions. Walker also plans to strip policy-making authority for the DNR from the Natural Resources Board.

But that’s not all. Walker’s budget calls for eliminating all general fund allocations for the state parks, or 28 percent of park funding. He proposes making up some of this difference by raising park sticker fees by $3 per year and camping fees $2 per night.

That won’t come close to covering the shortfall, however, and we’ll be seeing steeper increases in short order.

It’s interesting that Walker has pegged the parks for cuts. Those familiar with park operations are well aware that funding already falls far short of that needed for basic infrastructure maintenance.

Tens of thousands of cyclists visit Door County every year, drawn by the vistas of the parks. They might soon be riding past a tower with a sponsor’s name emblazoned on it.

The parks have been short-staffed for years, relying increasingly on generous volunteers to perform even basic trail maintenance and grooming.

Governor Walker and his predecessors have given great lip service to the importance of the parks to the economy and culture, but refuse to provide the resources needed to maintain, much less improve them.

Walker spends lavishly on highways and incarceration, but seems to view the parks as a money pit. Ironically a governor who likes to boast his economic prowess fails to recognize that the parks themselves are central to the economy of many regions, none more so than Door County.

It’s no coincidence that Ephraim and Fish Creek are routinely listed as the top small towns in America and are among the most-photographed anywhere. The two villages border Peninsula State Park, giving residents and visitors a beach, trail system, awe-inspiring panoramas, and open space just steps from their doors.

For a century Peninsula State Park has served as the gateway to Door County for tens of thousands of young families who couldn’t afford inns, motels, or B&Bs. These families start traditions at the park that grow into generations of family vacations to more expensive lodging, and often a vacation home or permanent residence.

Restaurants thrive on park visitors. Property values are higher because of the park. Hotels, inns, and resorts fill faster and charge more because of the park.

Lives are better, because of the park.

Gibraltar School students hike into the park for lessons and physical education classes. Athletes train on its trails. Students enter and exit the school each day in the shadow of its woods.

For those who live in Door County, where the average weekly wage is $554, the parks are everyone’s secluded estate, bluff top view, and waterfront home, giving all residents a chance to experience the beauty that draws so many.

Though I moved from Wisconsin to Chicago in 2012, I’ve retained my Wisconsin pride, that which made changing license plates on my car an emotional experience. A large part of Wisconsin pride comes from the state’s stewardship history and commitment.

I visit home often, and when I do I often drive straight to the park, a place that draws me back as much as any on the peninsula.

When I run on its trails and admire its overlooks, I feel an immense pride in being from a place where people had the foresight to protect this land more than 100 years ago. It wasn’t easy then for people to cede that land and take the long view.

I wonder what those folks would think of us now, skimping on their grand investment, turning outlandish April Fools’ jokes into reality.

For more on the economic impact of the state parks, see this week’s By the Numbers>>