Article posted Wednesday, January 18, 2012 11:23am

Dear Mary Pat,

My friend is dating someone who I think is cheating on her. I don’t have any solid evidence, but I have pretty good insider knowledge to substantiate my claim. When I mentioned it in an off the cuff manner, she blew me off, saying it was probably no big deal. Do I stick my nose in her business again and convince her that, yes it is a big deal, or do I let her date this d-bag?

Two Timin’ Trio,

Washington Island, WI

Dear Two Timin’ Trio,

As much as you’d like to tell your friend outright that her boyfriend is cheating on her, you said yourself that you don’t know for sure. You’ve already mentioned it once, now you have to keep quiet. Even though you think your friend “blew you off,” your off the cuff warning is, whether she likes it or not, lodged in the back of her brain. She now has the choice of trying to figure out if her boyfriend is faithful or living in denial. There is also the chance that a rumor got out of control, and her boyfriend has been wrongly accused. For the time being, you can be a good friend by listening and only offering opinions when asked for them. As you know, it’s usually the messenger who is shot.

If you do hear for sure that this guy is a dog, I hope for your sake that you aren’t the one delivering the bad news. If you find yourself in the situation of having to tell her, tread lightly and stick only to the facts of which you are 100 percent positively clear. Also, refrain from the obvious, “I tried to warn you!” Offer your ear and let your friend figure this out in her own good time.

No one likes to see their friend with someone who isn’t worthy of him/her. However, at the end of the day, you’ve got to let people make their own choices…and mistakes.

Good luck,

Mary Pat