Article posted Thursday, February 2, 2012 11:07am

Dear Mary Pat,

I was picking through some of my Christmas cards to see which ones I would save and came across a holiday letter that I must have skipped over when it came in the mail. After reading it, I was really disturbed by some of the information it contained. It started out with “Our daughter got divorced” and “Sam lost his job.” That just didn’t seem appropriate to include in a mass letter. I know that this friend was just trying to recap the year, but honestly, this seemed too shocking. What should one include in a holiday letter?

Signed,

TMI

Egg Harbor, WI

Dear TMI,

Wow. I agree that the type of information your friend shared in her letter should not have been included in a holiday letter. And if someone feels the need to include this type of information, a little subtlety certainly couldn’t hurt. It’s not a newspaper…no need to lead with a reel you in kind of a headline “ONE DAUGHTER STILL HITCHED, ONE NEWLY DIVORCED.”

My own feeling is, if you stay in touch with friends on a regular basis, they will know the most important details of your life, i.e. who’s together, who’s not, who’s newly employed/fired, who’s traveling, etc. If your friendship is an 8 x 11 piece of Christmas paper and a stamp sort, that’s fine, but I would advise keeping it short, interesting, and light on the dramatic recap.

I suspect that Facebook has reduced the need for once a year letters. A quick glance tells you work and relationship status. It can change weekly, if not daily, so Facebook is a little more up to date than a letter. People obviously haven’t gotten the memo about over sharing on Facebook either, but that’s for another time perhaps.

Good luck,

Mary Pat