Article posted Wednesday, March 27, 2013 2:14pm

Dear Mary Pat,

I’m exhausted. When I retired to Door County I was thrilled with the number of organizations, boards, and committees to join – I had no trouble getting involved and making friends. Now I find that I’m too involved. I’m on this and that board, organization, and committee and have my calendar packed with meetings and fundraisers. How can I slip out of a few of these commitments without hurting my friendships?

Signed,

Indentured Servant

Ephraim, WI

Dear Indentured Servant,

There are so many wonderful organizations and charities to be involved in here, it is not hard to fall into the trap of overcommitting. In fact, when I moved here myself a good many years ago, I was advised to not get involved with anything for at least a year since I would be busy running my business. That proved to be very good advice. It gave me time to figure out the lay of the land until I decided when and how I could be involved.

One of the hardest things to say to someone asking for help is ‘no.’ Even still, you need to practice saying no and start meaning it. If you are spread too thin, you aren’t really helping anyone, least of all yourself. The best thing for you to do is prioritize and decide which organizations are the most meaningful to you. Make a list of how much time you realistically spend at each one per week. Then take a hard look at your calendar and see what you have time for. If your 8 am meeting interferes with your yoga class, then perhaps the 8 am meeting won’t work for you in the future. If you have too many emails and calls to return and you find yourself skipping lunch every day, then it’s definitely time to scale back.

Charity work, fundraising and working on boards can be very rewarding, however, it is very easy to do too much and burn out. You are the only one who can determine what your schedule should be, especially now that you are enjoying your retirement years. The organizations you have worked with will surely understand if you need to change direction.

Good luck,

Mary Pat