Article posted Thursday, July 30, 2015 11:39am

Dear Mary Pat,

My friend is always complaining…about everything. It’s either too hot or too cold, nothing ever seems to go right at her job, her husband never does what she asks, her kids never seem to make her happy, her friends always seem to disappoint her. I think she has a skewed perception of things. The weather is just the weather, she has a lovely family and they are all healthy. She is more blessed than she knows. My husband is going through cancer treatment right now and when she called me last week to gripe about her kids leaving their wet towels on the floor, I lost it. I told her that she was completely self-absorbed and that she should really start thinking before speaking. She was really stunned and our conversation ended awkwardly. She hasn’t called me and I haven’t felt like calling her. I know I shouldn’t have blown up at her, but I was just at my wit’s end.

Signed,

Vent No More

Sister Bay, Wis.

Dear Vent No More,

You’re only human. And if this friendship is worth salvaging, your friend will hopefully realize that she should have asked how you and your husband are doing. In the scheme of things, wet towels are really nothing to worry about. If your friend hasn’t reached out to you, maybe you can take the high road and call her first. You can apologize for losing your temper with her and then calmly explain that you are going through a rough time with your husband’s illness and that you are a little preoccupied. It sounds as though when you called her self-absorbed, you may have been right. Even so, there is a chance that you can get through to her. Maybe she isn’t aware of how much she complains or maybe deep down she knows you have a point. Either way, give her a call and try to work it out. And if it doesn’t work out, surround yourself with friends who encourage you and lift you up instead.

Good luck,

Mary Pat