Death of Yeardley Love, a Domestic Abuse Reminder

On May 2, Yeardley Love, a University of Virginia (UVA) lacrosse player, was found dead in her bed; the result of “blunt force trauma,” according to police reports. Her ex-boyfriend George Huguely, another lacrosse player for UVA, was charged with domestic violence and her murder.

There have been news reports stating that their relationship had just ended and had been tumultuous in the past. Huguely had been known for his rage on campus when he attacked a teammate who was sleeping for believing that he kissed Love. Two months prior to Love’s death two University of North Carolina lacrosse players allegedly had to separate Huguely from Love during a dispute in Charlottesville.

As with many domestic violence murders, their relationship had recently ended, which lead up to him kicking in her door and attacking her.

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, 33 percent of female murder victims were killed by an intimate partner. The Danger Assessment study sites that in 70 to 80 percent of intimate partner homicides, the man physically abused the woman before the murder.

Could this murder have been prevented had someone come forward about Huguely’s violent behavior? We will never know. But keeping the warning signs out in the public, and encouraging witnesses, friends and family to speak up may prevent someone else from being harmed or murdered. Here are some of the warning signs:

Belittling Behavior:

• humiliating or yelling at you

• criticizing you and putting you down

• treating you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see

• ignoring or putting down your opinions or accomplishments

• blaming you for his own abusive behavior

• seeing you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person

Does your partner:

• have a bad and unpredictable temper?

• hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you? 

• threaten to take your children away or harm them?

• threaten to commit suicide if you leave?

• force you to have sex?

• destroy your belongings?

• act excessively jealous and possessive?

• control where you go or what you do?

• keep you from seeing your friends or family?

• limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?

• constantly check up on you?

Do you:

• feel afraid of your partner much of the time?

• avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?

• feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?

• believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?

• wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?

• feel emotionally numb or helpless?

If you are in a relationship that you have concerns about, or you have been in an abusive relationship in the past and just need to talk to someone or are concerned for the well-being of a friend, co-worker or family member, please contact HELP of Door County, Inc. at 920.743.8818 or 800.914.3571 or the Door County Sexual Assault Center at 920.746.8996.

This article is brought to you in part by the Door County Coordinated Community Response (CCR) to Domestic Violence Team.