Manners Matter: Lost All Manners in the Divorce

Dear Mary Pat,

I was browsing around a gift store and couldn’t help but overhear the conversation that a couple nearby was having. It became clear within a few moments that the man had been divorced and was now with a new(er?) girlfriend. She’d point something out and he would say, “Oh yeah, I used to have one of those but I lost it in the divorce.” Or, “She took that too.” Let’s just say the bitterness was palpable. I think the girlfriend was hinting at things that she was hoping he’d buy for her but he was too busy going down memory lane and tallying up all the ways his ex-wife did him wrong. It was absolutely none of my business, but I had to resist the urge to tell the girlfriend to run away from this guy. Why would she put up with that?  

Signed,

Bewildered

Egg Harbor, Wis.

Dear Bewildered,

Why indeed? Nothing is less interesting than listening to someone rehash an old relationship, especially if it is someone you are dating. Relationships are tricky and there are two sides to every story, but the postmortem should really only be for the two people involved.

Maybe this new girlfriend is really patient. Maybe she isn’t very confident. Only she could say for sure. I really hope for her sake she doesn’t let this guy ramble on for too much longer. It’s very possible that he is recently divorced and jumped back into the dating scene too soon.  Regardless, if he isn’t focused on their relationship now, there is no point in keeping him around.

Good luck,

Mary Pat