Mike at the Movies: Indulging the Clamor and Extravagance of Summer Flicks

Source: Marvel Studios.

by MIKE ORLOCK

Some movies are critic proof. And by “some” movies, I mean most summer movies, which crowd their way into theaters like boisterous relatives, one after the other, full of noise and with outrageous stories to tell. 

No smarty-pants critic needs to tell you how obnoxious or brainless they are. We indulge their clamor and extravagance because we know them so well: They’ll hang around for a few weeks, then skedaddle to home video in the fall. 

A trip to the multiplex will give you your choice of multimillion-dollar, special-effects-driven dumb to numb the summer heat. Among the nutrition-free choices on the marquee menu you’ll find these sorts of sequels, prequels, origin stories and reboots, and if they don’t satisfy your sweet tooth, just wait a week – something newer, louder and more spectacularly ridiculous will burst in for a visit.

Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 3 (PG-13) got the summer started back in early May by giving Guardians fans exactly what they want: More Star Lord (Chris Pratt), more Drax (Dave Bautista), more Mantis (Pom Klementieff), more Rocket (Bradley Cooper), more Groot (Vin Diesel) and even more Gamora (Zoe Saldaña), whose demise is cleverly negated by resurrecting her spirit or essence or whatever – you know the drill. In the Marvel Universe, anything is possible.

The story, which takes a whopping 150 minutes to tell, concerns Rocket’s origins. It seems he was part of a dastardly scheme by the High Evolutionary (Chukwudi Iwuji) to create a special race to populate the universe. But, as a mistake that got away, the High One wants Rocket erased, so it’s up to Peter and the gang to make sure Rocket doesn’t get blasted.

This is billed as the finale of the series, and director James Gunn’s requiem from the ranks of Disney/Marvel since signing on with Warner Bros./DC. 

The vibe is more solemn and edgy than the two previous tales – more Radiohead than Redbone on the playlist. And the box office, although healthy, hasn’t been stratospheric – so maybe it’s time to say farewell. If you’re a fan, as I am, you’ve already seen it. If not, wait for it to arrive on Disney+ in a month or two.

Fast X (PG-13) is, believe it or not, the 10th movie in a series that began in 2001 with a modest little remake of a 1954 Roger Corman B-movie camp classic about a cop (Paul Walker) out to bust a gang of road racers led by Vin Diesel. From that rather pedestrian beginning, we have seen each installment grow more outlandish: a souped-up Pontiac Fiero driven into outer space in F9? Really? 

Yeah, really. The series makes the Bond franchise seem grimly realistic.

This one features Diesel as Dom Toretto back behind the wheel, trying to save his “family” from the fiendish Dante Reyes, the lunatic son of the drug dealer Hernan Reyes, whose giant safe stuffed with millions of dollars was stolen by Dom and the gang in Fast Five and dragged by two sports cars through the streets of Rio, humiliating Dante’s dad. Now he wants payback by killing everyone Dom has ever loved.

Dante is played by Jason Momoa in a performance so over the top that it’s practically lunar. He’s like Dr. No crossed with Dr. Evil with a soupçon of RuPaul thrown in. It’s too bad The Rock (Dwayne Johnson) took a break from this installment. Watching him, Momoa and Diesel chew scenery together would have been a summer treat worth savoring. As is, Fast X seems like a long detour (141 minutes’ worth!) rather than a joyride to the inevitable Fast 11 next summer.

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (PG-13) is the seventh film in the series adapted from toymaker Hasbro’s kiddie-cartoon show by FX auteur Michael Bay, who directed the first five installments but now just produces. 

Steven Caple Jr., who distinguished himself in the Rocky series with Creed II, is calling the shots for Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Mirage and the rest of the Autobots as they face their most serious challenge yet from the evil Scourge and his malevolent master, Unicron, who apparently eats planets for breakfast. Along for the ride are some Maximals – robots that turn into animals, or animals that turn into robots, or something like that. In all the transforming going on, it’s easy to get lost.

Admittedly, this series is a thick slice of cheese, but I get a kick out of how seriously everybody who’s involved takes it. The vocal talent behind all these behemoth robots who spring from cars or trucks in a tumbling blur is pretty impressive. 

The great Peter Cullen lends his stentorian tones to Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, but the rest of the cast is inspired. Ron Perlman (typecast?) gives voice to Optimus Primal, a giant gorilla who’s the leader of the Maximals, while Pete Davidson (Mirage), Michelle Yeoh (Airazor), Peter Dinklage (Scourge) and Colman Domingo (Unicron) seem to be having a ball reciting dialogue so clunky it’s priceless. 

And just in case you’re wondering, there are a few humans involved in all the mayhem: Anthony Ramos (as a hapless wannabe car thief) and Dominique Fishback (as a novice museum curator) aid the Autobots in saving the world, while the ubiquitous Michael Kelly plays a government agent, natch, who’s sure that something weird is going on. 

At 127 minutes, Rise of the Beasts starts wearing out its welcome at about the 90-minute mark, but this is one summer sequel that’s worth a tub of popcorn and a soda.

In another lifetime, Mike Orlock wrote film reviews for the Reporter/Progress newspapers in the western suburbs of Chicago. He has also taught high school English, coached basketball and authored three books of poetry. He finished his two-year term as Door County’s poet laureate in early 2023.