The Garden Bard

As I write this, it’s the end of the first week of performances at Door Shakespeare, where I am playing Titania (Queen of the Fairies) and Hippolyta (Queen of the Amazons) in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, as well as Roxane in Cyrano de Bergerac. Finally, I have a chance to catch my breath after the stress of three very long (yet far too short) weeks of rehearsal, culminating in eight straight days of adding costumes, sets, and an audience into the mix, and ultimately opening two challenging shows back-to-back.

Now that I have the time to do so, I’ve been reflecting on why on earth I decided to become an actor. This is not uncommon; artists frequently question their career choices, and for me this usually happens around opening night, when I’m scared out of my mind, convinced that I am doing horrible, unclear work. This week, as I ponder the choices that have brought me to this point, the question of “why?” is being answered in a new way. I do this work for love – specifically, the love that comes from playing complex characters and working with amazing people.

For me, acting has always represented a chance for redemption, a plea for forgiveness, and the possibility of finding the divine in the relationship between two people. In Midsummer, this redemption comes in the form of the only two characters I talk to during the show. First there is Bottom the Weaver, the actor-turned-ass Titania falls in love with when she is under a spell. In our production, Bottom is played to perfection by Robert Allan Smith, one of the funniest and most generous actors I’ve had the opportunity to work with. Additionally, I speak to Theseus (the duke who conquered Hippolyta in battle, now her fiancé) and Oberon (King of the Fairies), both played by Nathan Hosner, a man of infinite beauty and a voice of silk. These two men have both offered me incredible support, on and offstage.

I often find that the roles I’m playing onstage allow me to examine some aspect of my life that needs to be addressed, and this summer is no different. I came to Door County last month with a bruised and battered heart. This summer, for just over two hours every night, I have spoken of nothing but love. As Hippolyta, I have discovered the love that comes only when two people finally decide to take on the world together as a team. I’ve come to understand love from a place of equality – for who else could match a conquering hero like Theseus but an Amazon huntress? As Titania, I have learned that the conflict between herself and Oberon has caused “the seasons (to) alter” – and who among us has not experienced the shaking of the earth, the unbalancing of everything else in our lives when our love is in discord? When Titania inadvertently falls in love with the all-too-mortal Bottom, I get to experience those first moments of starry-eyed, giddy love. Even when Titania’s true sight is restored, and she recognizes the ass for what he is, some of that love remains.

All these feelings – fear, jealousy, hurt, adoration and joy – are why I’m here this summer. Because of the generosity of my fellow actors, and because Titania and Hippolyta can be loved so deeply despite their imperfections, my bruises fade a little each night. If the two queens can be loved despite their imperfections, then perhaps I can be too.

"The Garden Bard" is a rotating column written by various members of the Door Shakespeare company, including actors, musicians, and directors. Each column reflects on a different aspect of Door Shakespeare’s 2008 season, featuring A Midsummer Night’s Dream and Cyrano de Bergerac.

Saren Nofs-Snyder is an actor at Door Shakespeare.

Door Shakespeare’s season will run through August 24, with A Midsummer Night’s Dream playing on Mondays, Thursday, and Saturdays, and Cyrano de Bergerac on Sundays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. All shows are at 7:30 pm. Tickets are $23 for adults, $16 for students, and $6 for children, and can be purchased at the door or reserved in advance by phone. Call 920.839.1500, or visit http://www.doorshakespeare.com for more details. Door Shakespeare is supported in part by a grant from the Peninsula Arts Association and Wisconsin Arts Board, with funds from the state of Wisconsin.