Article posted Wednesday, June 15, 2011 4:49pm

Gemini (May 21 – June 21): Consternation in the constellations will be the signal to release all pent-up energy that you have stored for such a circumstance as this. Without delay, take your dog for a two-mile walk.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22): Your destiny will receive a substantial signal that you are about to embark on a journey beyond your current comprehension. Call off your recent relationship.

Leo (July 23 – August 22): All astrological conditions tell you to forge ahead this period. Do not look back. Do not make left turns. Seize the coat lapels of a trusted friend and change your Jell-O preferences.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22): A remarkable moment that you will experience soon is just the first step towards your goal to dance with the stars at the Brussels Banquet Hall. Remember your etiquette training.

Libra (September 23 – October 22): Time is of the essence as your dreams become reality and your squash crop shows promising signs. Call for the check the next time you meet your best friend.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): Celestial calamities are not beyond your control. Repeat the strong self-control actions you took when your Buick failed to start, and all will be tranquil.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Your lawyer and your broker will call you in the days ahead. Indications from planet alignments will prove that you should keep a sharp eye on both these individuals.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Take charge. Venus and Andromeda have you in their gaze and that inner strength you showed during the pizza shortage will return, more forceful than you can imagine.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): You will soon receive a large sum of money from a relative you have never known. This sum will be dwarfed by the lottery winnings coming your way. Brace yourself for many new, unexpected friendships.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Vibrations from outer space are sure signs that your message to the warm weather visitors has been received and that they will heed your plea to bring their own food and booze.

Aries (March 21 – April 19): A last minute turn in your fortunes is only temporary. Continue to water your tomato plants and act as though your recent stock market fiasco will be reversed.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20): The persistent rumor that your astrological sign, long a source of comfort and guidance, will be changed to allow for a thirteenth zodiac, is a play to get you to change your political position.