Door County Poem: “Spellcheck”

My e-mail account won’t let me Send
without checking me out.
In this universe, the names of most
political candidates do not exist.

I must have meant Alabama,
instead of Obama, right?
The southeast American Indian
languages are so much better known
than any name from Africa.
Kagen must be hagen or Karen,
but hagen isn’t in my dictionary
at all and this Kagen isn’t a girl.

The checker wants me to replace Skare
with square, although the more efficient
snare, stare, scare and spare are also possible,
but "I’ll none of them" for this kind, articulate man.

Palin is changed first to patin, which I take
as a misspelling for patina – a gloss
on the surface of things, and consider.
But paling, pain and pal in are even more
to the point. Maybe this spellcheck fellow
knows something after all. Only McCain
is recognized. To raise Cain or create
a disturbance is part common knowledge.

I always click Ignore all for each unhelpful
suggestion, but the next time the name appears
in my text, there it is again. Insistent bugger.