Manners Matter: Vacation Planning and Footing the Bill

Dear Mary Pat,

My friends and I want to rent a house in Door County for one week, and all of us would split it equally. Including me, there are six of us who have been going back and forth with our schedules and how many days to take off of work. We finally picked the week that works best for everyone and started to look at our options. 

For the past six days, we’ve all been texting back and forth about ideas of which village we want to stay in and what we want to do. Last night we all get a text saying that “Jill” just went ahead and made a decision for us since she couldn’t handle all the back and forth. That was annoying enough, but she picked a place that is about twice what we said our budget is. I’m moving in two months, and I can’t swing any additional costs right now. 

I sent a response to the group chat saying that it was too expensive and that I couldn’t afford it. Jill sent a message back right away saying that it was inconsiderate of me to wait until now to voice my opinion about price. From the beginning I said that my budget was a little tighter than normal, but Jill just hears what she wants to hear. 

I feel stuck, and I’m not sure how to get out of this without causing a major issue with bossy Jill and the rest of my friends.

Signed,

Budget Betty
Madison, Wisconsin

Dear Budget Betty,

It’s hard to plan anything with six different opinions, especially travel. What might seem like a bargain to one friend is a fortune to another. I suspect that once you are up here, it will be more of the same if Jill is in charge (or thinks she’s in charge) of where to eat and what to do. 

You need to find out how your other four friends feel about this. Maybe they think it’s too expensive, too, and are afraid to say anything. Either way, politely ask what everyone else is thinking and see where things stand. If they all think that the price is no big deal, you’ll have to repeat that it is not in your budget. 

If they value their time with you, they will find another place that is in your comfort zone. If they aren’t willing to stick with the original plan, then maybe it’s better for you to sit this one out and focus on your move.

Good luck,
Mary Pat