Overheard and Pet Peeves

OVERHEARD

Are there tid-bits of conversations you’ve heard while standing in line at the grocery store, serving a table, or walking down the sidewalk that make you smile, cringe or laugh out loud?

“I’m laughing so hard I think I’m going to choke on my body.”

“She had two girls so she doesn’t like boys.” “Does she like her husband?” “Well, he’s not really a boy.”

“The thermostat in my classroom says it’s over 90 degrees. How am I supposed to keep my students’ attention in this heat on a Friday?!”

“Oh, is that a … yes it is! Man, I love finding hidden pickles in my sandwiches!”

“Hit a bird on my way home from Marinette. Almost peed myself, then proceeded to cry. Another update on my life if you’re interested.”

“.003 – this is the ratio of my salary to Jay Cutler. And I’m pretty damn good at what I do. This hurts my feelings.”

“The face painting station didn’t go very well. I thought I was a lot better than that but the kids were not happy.”

“I am not the Scrabble Nazi.”

“Play me some Wham and treat me like [crap].”

“It’s kinda like a stalker song.”

“Zach Galifianakis is my spirit animal.”

PET PEEVES

Is there something that really irks you, gets your goat, rubs you the wrong way, drives you up the wall, gets you bent out of shape, puts a stick in your craw, or makes you want to throw in the towel?

Sneezing immediately after putting mascara on.

Thinking dog poo in your front lawn is a divot that you can smooth over with your shoe.

Trying on Halloween wigs then finding a giant clump of fake black hair attached to the back of your head four hours later.

“No offense, but …” You see that “but” there? That immediately eliminates the part where you didn’t want to offend me.

Dropping the clear cap to your razor while you are in the shower then fumbling around on the slippery floor looking for it while holding a sharp object in your hand.

When people don’t tell you that there is something stuck in your teeth.

People who give out healthy snacks on Halloween.

Spaghetti sauce that splatters in the microwave, and the person who doesn’t clean it up afterward.

Be a part of the Pulse! Send over your SHOUT OUTS, OBSESSIONS, OVERHEARDS, or PET PEEVES to [email protected] with one of the above categories in the subject line…and, let us know if you’d prefer the submission be printed anonymously.