Dear Martha Stewart

Dear Martha Stewart,

With an adhesive lint roller in one hand and
a julep strainer in the other I strive to be like your
model of efficiency, but do have a bit of trouble
locating my can opener.

While I hope to master the six steps to foolproof gravy,
tasty leftovers and perfectly folded
towels and bed linens, I do have to close the
refrigerator door with my toe as it keeps swinging open.

I plan to place a flax table runner
with lace border, on a vintage table
with hand made place cards, produce festive
decorations using a hot glue gun and walnuts,
tinsel glitter, and spray painted gourds,
leaving just enough time
to heat the hot dogs.

I vow to attract the widest variety of birds
possible by planting Mountain Ash, Hawthorne
and Serviceberry but maybe one small feeder
and a row of petunias will fit on my
apartment balcony.

Yours hopefully,

Anita Beckstrom