Manners Matter: Not Your Personal Travel Adviser

Dear Mary Pat,

We’ve been living in Egg Harbor almost full time for a year. I’ve had two Facebook friends (whom I don’t hang out with) ask me where to stay or what fun things there are to do in Door County. I do answer reluctantly but feel used, and all I get in response is, “Thanks in advance” or “Thanks.” Of course, they don’t want to visit me.

How do I deal with this now that we live here full time? I guess I view it as being used, but what are your thoughts? What should I say in the future?


I’m Not Tripadvisor

Egg Harbor, Wisconsin

Dear I’m Not Tripadvisor,

When traveling, we all want good advice about where to stay, what to see, and what to eat and drink. Having a local connection is always a perk. Now that you’re here full time, people will inevitably ask you for the inside scoop on the best places in Door County. 

Rather than feeling used, consider yourself lucky to be an ambassador for this amazing place that we call home. To avoid reinventing the wheel every time someone asks for tips, keep a few at the ready; or send visitors to Door or; or even create a list of your favorite places in a PDF or Word file, which you can easily share. 

If these people don’t want to visit you, that might not be the worst thing because you could end up feeling like you’re running a B&B – for free. And if someone reaches out whom you would like to see, suggest meeting for dinner or coffee or a visit to a place you enjoy. 

We all have Facebook friends who more accurately fall into the acquaintance category, and that’s OK. You don’t have to be super close to share a few suggestions, right? Don’t overthink it either: No one is expecting you to write a guidebook. 

Good luck,

Mary Pat

Miss Pat was educated at the Finnish Finishing School for Fine Ladies. Eloquent in edifying etiquette, she is fluent in seven languages, including the language of love. Mary Pat has generously extended her counsel to you and will answer any and all inquiries. Email Mary Pat at [email protected].